Short Thoughts + My Journal

It sounds really silly when I type it out, but I have finally made my very first journal for myself since officially launching Ink+Honey several years ago. I've tried to think through why I haven't made one for myself before now, and I think it's a combination of being busy (I've almost made 300 handbound books to date!) and also being scared of disappointing myself.

Sometimes I am notorious for not knowing what I want, until I know what I want--often to the chagrin of my husband. I can't always articulate it, I just know I'll know when I've found it. So I've just been content to let it ride and in the interim have used a simple mixed media Canon notebook; however, I haven't done much writing.

For me, writing is intimate like sex. We light the candles with the best aromas, pick the perfect record, sip some wine, and are wooed into intimacy. A truly good journal flickers with promise and the smell of vulnerability, it curls its fingers with that sacred 'come hither'  and before we know it, we're naked and elbow deep in ink, writing. 

I think that's how I know this journal is my soul mate; I look at it and I'm enchanted to pick up my pen. I haven't felt that connection to a book in a very long time.

I've wanted to dabble in leather for a while now and I've had some very stiff scraps sitting around which inspired a leather case for my journal. I did my best to only minimally alter this large ill-shaped piece of leather by only sewing on a thin band to close the cover and sewing the front and back pieces together to create a case. The curvature of this scrap leather was really intriguing to me and is what initially inspired me to create this case. I like the idea that the case will keep my journal safe from my haphazard way of throwing my journal around, while still giving little peeks at the cover. I love that I was able to mold the leather in such a way that the little bee in the upper left corner is always visible.

I'm typically not a pencil person, but when I do put the pen to the cil, I really prefer Blackwing Pencils as pictured above. Flawless style and function.

It mattered to me that there was space to house my writing utensil since I often tend to lose them. So, I sewed in a simple elastic band right in the crook of the leather closure ensuring my pencil would hug the spine of the journal and remain secure. I used a waxed linen thread to sew the leather together as well.

When I found this book cover I just knew it was kismet! I fell in love with the sweet little bees which are very significant for me and the mustard flowers are dainty and bright. When I found this cover, I had been thinking heavily on my current life and how I want to spend my energy believing that all the shit I endured last year was really just a rich manure for the beauty of this year to unfold; that I am tending my own garden. However, that's where I am ending the comparison between this book and my life because The Blithedale Romance is rather sad in true Hawthorne fashion. So, no thanks. I've had enough sadness.

It was important to me that I would have plenty of space in my journal to do more than just write, so to encourage that I filled it with watercolor paper, drawing paper, and little flags for quotes or to rip out for scrap paper. I also sewed in a few pages where I had already done some watercolor I was happy with to add in some color and to write on top of. If you've seen any of my rants on pockets, then you know that it goes without saying that I included a pocket for all my little treasures.

I bound the whole thing together with a coptic stitch with 4 ply waxed linen Irish thread, which is thin enough to go through the paper nicely without ripping, but strong enough not to fall to pieces. I especially love the Coptic Stitch because it is firm, but allows for the book to lay completely flat, which I find preferable. There is nothing more annoying to me personally than a journal that you have to convince to lay flat all the time.

These detail shots of journals are a fun way for me to share more of the backstory into what went into the books on my desk and give a little technical insight into my decision making, but posting pages out of my own journal is another aspect of this blog I am very excited to share. I think sometimes it's easy to read beautiful artist blogs with expertly styled photos and think somehow we've arrived or our shit is all put together. (Maybe you've transcended my human jealously, in which case, please teach me.) My journal page posts I hope will very much dispel that lie and help me practice being vulnerable with my own struggles as an artist. At the very least, it will give my frenemies excellent fodder to embarrass me at parties. 🤷🏼‍♀️💁🏼✨

But as I was writing this post today with photos that I shot three times before finding satisfaction and overthinking my words and whether or not I can say "shit" on an artist blog and the internet still think I'm classy, I had this thought run through my head.

"You can only be who you are."

So dear internet, I'm here just being who I am, and I think I was finally able to make a journal that reflects that.

XOXO,

Abigail

P.S. Do you have any questions you'd want me to answer? We can gab about my favorite ice cream if you want. One sided conversations are boring.